Look! It is a chapter!

[Juppo]

...a rewritten chapter, but it's enough to warrant a read.

So. Here it is, fools.

doomsdaygap.fateback.com/nedokius/juppo12.html

Feedback is teh good. Should have something else released fairly soon, but I make no promises.

Enjoy!

[Masamune]

"I think cutting Netahlei and Anna out was for the best, even though I quite like them...this way, I think it puts more focus on the plot."

... *ducks*

Fine. The chapter is good, like it was before. However, I think Sasuke makes more sense than introducing someone odd like Netahlei. Especially since it ties in with Luc's plot. And I'm a sucker for tie-ins. Especially if they're clip-on tie-ins! *rimshot*

The rest fo the chapter was as good as when I last read it, since I could tell what was changed and what wasn't. Though it was nice to reread it mainly because I had forgot Kurtz was in it, making the last Sheena chapter make slight bit more sense.

[Gremio]

*beats Masa up for his bad joke*

I told you how I felt about your chappy, but this requires repeating:

OMG KURTZ! <3<3<3<3<3<3

Okay, I'm done. XD

[Geronimo]

Ah, yes, very nice, Juppo. It's great to see that you finally found the way you wanted to do this, and I have to say it came out quite well.

My thoughts on the stuff that wasn't changed remains (still love the intro).

I can't remember if the sequence with Meg was there before or not, but in any case, it was powerful.

I agree with Masa that the addition of Sasuke in favor of other characters is a good, sense-making tie-in.

Definitely leaves me wanting more. Nice!

---Gero

[SamuraiMarmoset]

Great chapiter. And people were commenting how easily I got into the head of a certain author!

Having said that, I thought Sasuke's reaction was very human, and worked well with the personality Certain Author and myself had established (though me only in that one chapiter).

I really liked Juppo's reaction to the Winger District, because he's not evil, and he is only human-Sasuke beating the tar out of him is another good indication of that.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing where this goes! Hope it works better for you now!